Keep your love relationship from falling apart

What does a relationship need to thrive beyond the falling in love period?

Gestures of love are nice, but there’s one destroyer of most long term relationships. No amount of gestures can make it go away.

Resentment.

I’m sure you’ve held a grudge before (we all have, it’s OK!). It makes showing and accepting love difficult, if not impossible.

If we’re honest, most relationships fall apart because resentment is allowed to fester.

But it doesn’t have to be that way…

I can teach you a process of repair you can use with your partner to strengthen your relationship and create a secure attachment.

The first step is sharing honestly.

In a secure relationship you must be able to share what’s not working, what is working and both partners need to be able to ask for what they need.

This can be hard. And that’s OK. It’s not your fault that it’s hard. It’s hard for all of us.

It might be because your childhood wounds taught you to expect to be ignored or even attacked for having boundaries and desires.

If you’re in a relationship that reinforces this pattern, you need to learn how to talk to your partner about your desire to heal, together.

When you create the ability to be that vulnerable, you’ll feel safe to be yourself.

If that’s possible (and honestly, sometimes it’s not), you’ll have to differentiate between the current relationship and our past relationships, where sharing vulnerability wasn’t an option.

In that case you might even be able to use the current relationship to repair that wound.

Learning to be vulnerable isn’t easy. And you’ll need to keep your nervous system regulated.

When we feel mistreated, we tend to say things in a way that makes it hard for others to hear our needs and desires.

Sharing vulnerability involves taking responsibility for our feelings rather than shaming or blaming.

And it’s here for you if you want to deepen your love.

If you’re ready to heal using this process, send me an email at odelia@embodiedacceptance.com.