These days I’m very interested in how the research that I’m doing in the studio is connected to my everyday life and relationships in particular. In fact I’ve put together a whole class series that is just about that. I’m learning a lot from others and I’m hopeful that it will influence my teaching.
I took a wonderful class this week which involved partnering and included such interesting “studio to life” takeaways. One of the takeaways was about how in order to make the partnering experience work, one needs to be available to be influenced by the other but that a pre-condition to letting ourselves be influenced is being able to notice the extent of the effect that we have on others. That the more we can exist in this place where we have absolutely no doubts about the difference we make just by being what we are and not necessarily having to do anything, or needing to make something happen, the more we can allow outside input to enter and influence us in a way that makes things so, so much more interesting and satisfying.
One of the ways we practiced this idea was to see how it feels like to give only %1 of our weight to our partner but then be available to give %100 so that when the partner moves their body to a different position we can let ourselves fall.
In this kind of partnering work we practice falling all the time, only that this is falling with awareness so we catch ourselves by finding the support of the earth through our own bodies or the support of the partner’s body which is also always supported by the earth.
To me this is a way to practice trust in oneself and trust in somebody else and I could immediately think about how this is so pertinent to my relationship, particularly with my life partner. I can go a long way if he only gives me %1 of himself in our extremely busy day to day but in order for the relationship to work long-term I need him to be willing to be completely vulnerable with me which because of social conditioning can sometimes feel like putting his life in my hands. I, in turn, need to do the same. No holding back.
As I think about it I realize that there is no real difference between what we do in the studio and life, that it’s just another place to practice life but on a corporal level which seems to me like the most affective way to practice something if I want to set it as my default mode in my life and in my relationships. I want that to be how I actually am, not just an abstract thought.